For many of us it is a time of chaos. Certainties no longer seem to be so certain. With the crisis in full swing our trust and sense of security waver. We are in search of stability and control. Those of us who are entrepreneurs busy ourselves with Facebook, Linkedin and Twitter. We tweet and retweet, comment on forums, and create attracting newsletters. We invest in business coaches. So do I. More than once I caught myself participating in the spectacle, feeling the unrest and being exhausted. Often I asked myself: what are you doing? Why aren’t you out in the sun? Why do find yourself heading to the computer first thing in the morning instead of heading to your meditation mat. Is all this really making you happy?
Residing in the not-knowing and trusting, even when it concerns other ‘crisis’ moments in your life, simply isn’t that easy. We think we can only find peace when everything is under control again. We want a plan, a focus, to know and understand. Only then do we know what we can do about it. Doing noting doesn’t seem to be an option.
Doing nothing is scary
and makes us feel uncertain
Doing nothing is scary and makes us feel uncertain. Doing nothing provides room for feelings of inadequacy, feelings of fear about our shortcomings. It creates unease and often creates panic. I need to do something, or else everything will go wrong. In our minds, doing nothing equals giving up. In the experience of the ego, doing nothing means withering away and eventually dying.
The ego thinks in black and white. It’s always either-or and almost never both-and. Either being active or doing nothing. Coming closer or taking your distance. Pushing or pulling. In contrast, your heart always experiences both-and. Buddhism speaks of finding the middle way. I call it the contact position: you are in contact with your longing for a steady income or balance in your personal life and at the same time you are in contact with the chaos that is there. Finding peace with the not-knowing doesn’t mean giving up, but taking on the calm presence of a warrior. Alert, sharp, patiently waiting for the right moment that calls for action.
What follows is a natural
yet at the same time
What follows is a natural yet at the same time powerful movement. A movement that arises out of trust and awareness. A movement that follows the natural rhythm of your own development. Not faster, not slower, just perfectly in tune with your natural rhythm. Then there is flow, inspiration, happiness, and connection. Suddenly all goes smoothly and you notice everything you do gives you energy, instead of it costing you energy. Even using social media can provide inspiration and connection. Then you are present with your heart, because you enjoy being connected.
When you experience chaos and anxiety, slow down your pace. Every so often find stillness, meditate, go for a walk through the forest. Chaos invites you to let go. Let go of your tendency for control, let go of being in a forced action-modus, let go of your fear for rejection. Accept the uncertainty and be in curious expectation where your feet take you. Because in all of this uncertainty one thing is certain, nothing ever remains the same. Never. Life is always moving.
The blogs on this site serve as support to coaches who want to deepen their skills and ground attitude. If you want to stand next to the other person as pure as possible, firm and grounded, free of projections and 'better', you require a high degree of awareness on your own being and functioning. Seeing again and again where you are entangled in an old story, where fear dominates and learning how to break that enchantment and move to trust. That's what all these blogs are about.
The best investment you can make as a coach is to work on your own personal growth. On your personal leadership. In the end, this applies to everyone who is looking for happiness and inspiration in their work. That is why the readers who are not coaches are of course very welcome to read along.